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Thursday, October 12, 2006
got back results today.. history..lit.. and geog.. i was disapointed for all of them.. i wanted to do better than that. ok i didnt fail for any but... it's just.. that.. i studied so hard and ugh.. the results were just... sighh.. especially for one particular subject.. namely.. history... my favourite subject.. u see... i never really actually did well for history.. it was pretty much failures for the 1st half of the yr... well.. it was kinda the same for the 2nd half but.. it was after that remedial lesson with mr ang that made me understand how we were supposed to answer source based questions.. after that remedial.. i just knew that i would improve for history and that i would do the source based questions properly... so.. the next test.. i was like... so happy... although i only got an 11/20.. my source based section earned me 9/10.. even higher than the top girl in hist... and the other 2 marks was earned another two questions in structured... i seriously thought i woudnt pass.. i only had the time to do those... so.. after i got back my paper.. when class ended.. i went to thank mr ang.. he said he was really happy.. really very happy... the feeling was like... wow.. a teacher was like... in a way.. proud of what i did... i never really thought any teacher would ever say that... so.. for the next test.. i got a 9/15.. and the remark was "that's the way!".. and for the first source based question.. i got full marks and he put there a "yay!".. haha.. i laughed at this comment in my mind so muchh lol.. then for the 2nd question.. i got a 3/5... and for the last qsn.. a 2/6.. the comment was " what happened? no time?".. yeaa.. that's exactly the reason... so after that i went up to him and he told me to pace myself right... and yeah.. keep to time and all that... so he announced that there were gonna be remedial sessions and all... i signed up for one... if im not wrong.. it was on a wednesday... yeaaahh.. so he taught us the 1st question... but i really actually wanted him to go thru the 2nd one.. soooo... after a few lessons.. i asked him if i could go to another remedial... he said ok.. so.. i went... then it's like.. after he explained and asked us to do it.. i was the first one to let him check.. and it was wrong and, not answering the question at all.. haha -.-... so i went back to do again.. while all the others (about twenty sth) went to check.. whoa.. it took a darn long time.. so even after i finished writing.. the queue was still long... so i just sat there and slacked for a while.. then.. before i could get him to check.. he explained the 2nd section... so.. while the remaining girls in the queue uhh.. queued... the rest did their work... oh btw i didn't wanna queue cos like... why wait so long when u can check later ehhe... yea... soo after i finished the 2nd section.. i was kinda the slowest lah.. so the queue builded up again.. oh man.. so i went thru my answer once more and.. then slacked.. heheh.. 10 minutes passed.. 15 minutes passed.. 30minutes passed... the queue was still there while i stupidly waited at my desk.. all of my friends left alrdy.. heh.. so there were like 4 ppl left there+mr ang.. he attended to the rest first before going thru mine.... so i was like the last one there... eek.. yeaaa... so it was like another half an hour there? he went through qsn b.. then made me repeat the whole answer verbally to him.. and after that asked me to list out all the points.. after that.. he still went through section c.. haha so nice... after that class.. i knew how to do the useful questions properly.. so yeaaa... after that.. it was just days and days of studying history.. even if it was lit that day.. i'll still study hist... urggghh..during the final exam.. i was rushing for time... if only i had more time.. i would have gotten more marks.. but i guess... that's not the point..... sigh.. ok.. lets just jump to when i got back my paper... omigosh.. horror... as i walked towards room 100.. mr ang was outside la.. when i walked past him.. he was giving me this stare.. like. as if i just ended the whole star wars saga or sth... yess.. that look.. so i sorta knew the results weren't gonna be good.. by this time.. i was already strangling history.. ack.. kill it! oh god.. went inside the room.. sat at the corner.. then he showed us the breakdown of the marks in the four classes he marked.. and said that the highest was in 1pe.. which is my class... then he gave out the papers... caryl got the highest.. he went in register order u see.. so i was sitting there staring at the table... and when it was my turn... i went up to him and took my paper.. i didnt even bother looking at his face.. didnt want to... so.. i returned to my seat.. counted to 10.. then opened the paper... i can still remember how i felt at that point of time...... the corner is goodd... no one knows u're crying- so i just sat there.. tears... facing away from mr ang.. when he walked in my direction.. i turned away.. sighh.. i kept crying constantly.. i didnt fail.. but it was much lower than i thought it would be... i was so disapointed in myself.... but the worst was... when mr ang told us to put our papers back on the table up front... since it was according to register number from the back.. i was 3rd.. so i went up.. and i couldnt help but feel horrible.. that feeling was so bad that i didnt even want to go near the table.. so i flung the paper towards the pile but it missed and nearly slid off the table.. but mr ang caught it in time.. then he was like.. TRISHA.. WHAT'S THAT FOR?! but he didnt seem angry or anything according to aisha and pris..they said it was cause he understood that i was sad so yeaaa... then i walked back to put the paper back into the pile and said sorry.. so i walked back to my table and felt more devastated than ever.. sighh.. i even feel a bit guilty now... so i wrote an email to him.. well.. it was just a few words.. but i hope he understands lah..... ugrhhg.. what if he doesn't reply?! ahh nvm.. gonna get back science, chinese, english and math papers back tmr... i hope it goes well..... if not.. then.. well.. who knows... i heard that most people who do badly in school grow up to be good business people.. hehheh.. donald trump.. here i come!! then again....... ):
